Could Your Summer Fling be the Real Thing?

Could your summer fling be the real thing?

Summer is where the girls go barefoot and their hearts are just as free as their toes.” -

It’s summer and the combination of rose sipping and days spent under the sun can create some very hot summer romances. Your summer fling is the perfect compliment to your summer sixteen, and as we head into the final weeks of summer you may be realizing you don’t want your fling to end. Falling for him or her, you’re wondering if this relationship can last through the seasons.

As a therapist, I have worked with many women struggling to evaluate their relationships as well as I have my own experiences with this. What I have learned from my work as a therapist and my own experiences is there are certain common characteristics of lasting love even at the beginning.

Here are 5 ways to tell if your summer fling could be the real thing...

1. He takes time to court you

Yes, sex with you is so amazing but so is everything else about you too. I realize that “courting” is likely an antiquated term to most, as the old rules of dating seemed to have flown out of the window. However I believe it is still alive and very much well. Or at least it should be. I am not suggesting that women should wear a chastity belt, and circumvent their own desires in order to assess a relationship. However evaluating the quality of the time you spend with your partner is very important. Proper courting, or dating, is a sign that the relationship is not one dimensional and that your partner values getting to know all of you. So if I someone you’re dating takes the time to do things like take you out, ask you questions, call you at a decent hour, or even wait until you’re ready to have sex then there is a good sign the relationship is heading down a path of lasting love.  

2. You Help Each Other Out 

It’s a hot summer day, and as you are driving to the beach and your car breaks down. Who is the first person you would call if you were stranded? And if you called your summer boo do you think they would be willing to help you. One of the most common factors in lasting relationships is a willingness to help each other. Is that special person there for you when you need them or are they nowhere to be found? Would you drop something important to help out your fling if they needed the same? If the answer is yes, this is another great sign that your fling could be the real thing.

3. Making Plans in the Future 

Another important factor in evaluating someone’s intentions is looking at their vision. If your partner has asked you to attend a concert 3 months down the line, it’s a great sign that he or she sees you in their future. Furthermore on the flip side, if your fling is hesitant to accept any invitations for future dates, it may mean they are hesitant to commit to you in general as well. Take time to see if your fling’s vision of the future includes you.  

4. Title’s aren’t everything but they are SOMETHING

As verbal beings, it is difficult for us to wrap our minds around anything without having a word for it. Even if you aren’t into titles, it may be helpful to take note of how your partner refers to you. Does they introduce you as friend? With just your name? Or do they not introduce at all? The answer is very telling. Also if someone is really serious about sharing a life with you, then they will make their intentions clear. Lasting love is not confusing, and is rooted in truth. So if you are confused about where your relationship is heading it may be time to simply just ask their intentions. Take a chance to be honest about your own intentions and be brave enough to hear if you and your partner’s intentions don’t match.

5. You’ve Met Each Other's Friends and Family  

This tip is a classic one for a reason, because it’s most revealing. Would you feel comfortable introducing this person to your friends? Do you trust them enough to meet your family? Just as important to ask yourself, has your fling brought you around his friends? Has he or she taken you to the family barbeque? These are all telling signs that the two of you are making efforts to mold your lives together, which is a testament to a lasting relationship.

Summer is a magical time and a perfect setting for love. These tips should help you align with your intuition and will likely just amplify what you already know. My ultimate advice is to trust yourself and align with your purpose in life. If you believe your summer love serves your purpose and fits with your current life, be willing to invite it into your future as well. Good luck on your conscious love journey!