Treat Yo' Self Girl: 5 Commandments of Completeness


Hey beauties! Things not going so well? Do you feel as if everything in every aspect of this rollercoaster we call life is failing at the moment? Are you finding yourself more bothered by your path rather than inspired? Do you sometimes believe you may have taken a wrong turn and ended up at a dead end? I feel you girl. I too have felt all types of those emotions all in one week, one day and even one minute. Perhaps certain things aren't going too well, because you aren't or have not yet tried to seek completeness. Everything in this life, starts with us, who we are as a person and how we approach various moments.

I can honestly say that my life didn't begin to change until I sought completeness. SO, I would like to gift you the 5 commandments to completing the beauty that is you, and please be advised, I have a strict no return policy :-)

1. Thou Shall Not Seek MAN To Save You


This commandment right here! This commandment right a separate article within itself, but allow me to ever so lightly just touch on this subject.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a woman, myself included, say "If only I had a man", or "I just want to meet my other half", I could buy FIVE Bugatti Veyrons and paint them all matte black.

Listen Linda, listen: There is no such thing as YOUR other half. You were born complete and the key is to die (not soon, God forbid) complete. I've noticed that nowadays, especially with women around my age (20-30), are steady seeking a relationship to magically bring us the happiness we have been conditioned to believe can only come from being romantically involved with someone. *Mutombo voice* No, no, no beauty, that is NOT the key.

If you honestly believe that you will find the man of your dreams and his presence will be the ying to your yang, you've got another thing coming.

Let me swiftly be real with you; a true man of substance and valor, will see right through your half, or completely empty soul, and he will leave you right where he found you. A man CANNOT save you, so stop trying to tie a cape around his neck. When you base your happiness and wholeness off of someone else, that's a big responsibility to put on someone, and quite honestly, it's a selfish thing to do, because you then begin to put expectations on that person that they may not be able to meet, leaving you disappointed and highly perturbed.

Become complete so that when you do meet who you're supposed to be with, you are already full and their presence compliments you, rather than completes you.

2. Thou Shall Know Thyself


We preach daily on the important point that is loving yourself, but do you actually KNOW yourself? You can love yourself, but not know yourself at the same time. I kid you not.

Let me give you an example: When I was not even a half full soul myself, I had just learned to love myself at the age of 24 years-old, but at that time, I still didn't know who I was as a person. When I was enrolled in film school, I didn't know what kind of message I wanted to convey in my projects, because I didn't know myself. I wrote and directed every genre imaginable in efforts to please any audience that would view my work, rather than find my voice as a director, who I was and what I wanted to convey to the world. Whenever I was asked the ever so redundant question, "what are you trying to say with this film?", I consistently drew a blank. What was I trying to say? I had no clue, because as an aspiring filmmaker and a human being in general, I did not know myself.

Those that do not know themselves, fall for anything. That dream job offer you may have gotten may turn out to not be what you thought it was, and your employer may even go as far to ask you to compromise who you are along with your values/beliefs for those 8-9 hours every day of the work week, and that is never okay girl. Know thyself and you will forever be equipped to make the right choices for you and you only.

3. Thou Shall Rebuke Jealousy 


Jealousy is an ugly trait and it should always be rebuked. Envy never gets you anywhere and it never will. Since the beginning of time, women have been raised to always be in competition with each other.

We have been conditioned to believe there's not enough good men out there, therefore, we all must compete for a particular man's attention, it has been engrained in our heads that there isn't enough room for all of us at the top of the totem pole when it comes to our career, therefore, we don't try to help our fellow sista out in the workplace, or we turn our nose up when we see that our job has hired "a new girl", and don't let her be attractive either, World War III up in that piece! We can sometimes be so envious of one another, that we don't even want to disclose to the next chick what store we got our cute shirt from, for fear that she might look better in it than us! Girrrrrlllll, bye.

"To uplift the Woman, is to uplift the world"-@SheaLafaye.

Do you know how much power we hold as women?  A lot. Plenty. Tons. When women stick together in efforts to make great strides in a male dominated world, great things happen. Beyonce said we run the world, so it must be true. Life begins in a woman's womb, nature is described as Mother, we can endure excruciating pain mentally and physically, and we make up the large number of educated persons in the U.S. Beauty, you are dope! We are dope, but that dopeness will never shine through if we're constantly trying to tear each other down. Don't hate, congratulate. WE DON'T WANT NO JEALOUSY IN THE HOUSE!

3. Thou Shall Not Obsess to Possess 


Nice things are, well nice. Dassit. Materialistic possessions do not provide you your purpose, REAL happiness or completeness.

Owning certain things, such as loads of money, a car, house, clothes, the latest technology, shoes, make-up, jewelry only provides one level of happiness, not all levels. Remember that. For example: Owning a car does not solve the issues you may be dealing with on the inside, nor does it give you a sense of security. Sure, you have your own way of transportation, but what else does that piece of machinery do for your well being? Many people who do not own any of things I listed are some of the happiest people walking.

When you obsess to own materialistic things, a materialistic person is what you will become and/or be known as until you change your ways. How would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and you didn't have any material possessions? Do me a favor and write that question down, and answer it honestly. If the answer is something along the lines of "depressed", "lost", or any negative feeling, then you need to work on rebuking that obsession my dear.

5. Thou Shall Adopt Good Vibes


In the words of one of my life coaches, DJ Khaled: "Vibes. This is a vibe. Good vibes. Vibes."  Good vibes make the world go 'round. When you throw positive vibes and positive thinking into the universe, you get good results back like a boomerang. When you don't adopt positive thinking, people can detect that negative energy and steer clear of you.

Have you ever met someone that everyone is always naturally drawn to, no matter where he/she goes? I have come across plenty, and one of those people I speak of is my mother. No matter where she is, whether it be at her job, Starbucks or at a function, people have always been drawn to her. Not only is she welcoming, but she radiates confidence, positivity and pure happiness, and people always want to surround themselves with those that give good vibes.

When you have low self-esteem, you carry that chip on your shoulder with you everyday and although you may not think so, you wear that self hatred like an outfit; everyone will see it. I used to have the lowest of self-esteem growing up, and that's still something I fight with everyday, and win a little more with each battle. Looking back, I remember constantly finding the bad in every situation and when I expressed that, I gave off a negative vibe to those around me. It wasn't until I began to adhere to the first four commandments, that I succeeded in conquering this current commandment. Life is all about good vibes and we must try our hardest to implement nothing but positivity for a positive life. Good vibes only beauty.

The journey to becoming a completed woman will always be somewhat of an everlasting trip, so don't think you're on a deadline. Take each day at a time and use these commandments to help you become the beauty that is you, I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

Treat Yo' Self Girl, and Stay Beautiful!